My Brother Is Almost a Millionaire

So my brother likes to play along with all those scammers that send emails asking for URGENT ASSISTANCE in receiving funds (like 12 million dollar funds) and I think the email interactions are hilarious. Bold writing is Scott. I know it's long, but it's very worth it. Enjoy.

EMAIL EXCHANGE #1 

Hi Alfred,

Roger said to contact you to get my check. What do I need to do?

Thanks,

 Scott

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Dear sir,

Good morning, I received instruction from my boss that you will be contacting me regarding your cheque of us$1.2 million he dropped for me.As it stands now, How do you intend to receive the cheque?.Can you come to Benin to pick it up?.

In other words, i can mail the cheque to you by courier but you have to bear the cost of delivery.If this option is acceptable by you then i will go and verify the cost of delivery.Meanwhile, send your phone number.

Get back to me to tell me your decision on how to get the money and i will make sure that you receive it as instructed by my boss.

Thanks

Alfred.

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Perfect!  My business partner is in Cotonou right now!  He will pick the check up directly -- just give me your address.

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Dear sir,

I am not ready to give it to anybody than you for security reasons.You better come and pick it by your self.

Thanks

Alfred.

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Sounds good. I'm booking a ticket as we speak. I've always wanted to see Africa!  I could never afford it before, but now money is no object!  Where do I meet you?

----------------

Dear sir,

All you needed to do is to send your flight schedule to enable me know exactly your arrival date and time so i can pick you at the airport.Send your private telephone number when replying this email.

Thanks

Alfred.

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Wonderful!  Can you please put together an itinerary for me from Los Angeles to your airport?  You would know that stuff better than I would.  I can leave any day after Friday.

Also, what's the weather like right now?  Can I get away with shorts?  If so, I can just pack a carry-on.  I hate checking my bags because then you have to wait forever at the baggage claim, you know?

Thanks!

Scott

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Dear sir,

Our weather is okay.Send your private telephone number and a copy of your international passport.

Thanks

Alfred.

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Al,

My passport photo is a little bit embarrassing as it was taken when I had gained a little bit of weight. My ex had just dumped me and I really let myself go.  Now I have a trainer, which really helps me stay in the gym. But at the time I couldn't afford it because I was between jobs. By the way, it wasn't my fault that I got fired from my job at the time. My boss was a total asshole and I think he was threatened by the fact that I was much younger than him but my career was advancing much faster than his. Anyway, that is neither here nor there. Point is, I'm embarrassed to send my passport because of my photo. Would you accept a copy of my Blockbuster Video card?  It was taken at a time where I felt much better about my physique. Please don't forget to book my flights for me. It's shorts, shorts, shorts for me!! Yipee!!!!

Scott

ps Are there vuvuzelas available for purchase in your country or shall I bring my own?

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Dear sir,

I am not in possition to book flight for you rather your self.Further more, I cannot accept any other picture of yours than ID or international passport copy.

Thanks

Alfred.

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Ok, you don't need to book my flight.  Just figure out the itinerary that makes the most sense and then I'll book it myself.  Roger made it clear that you would assist me in any way necessary, so I thank you for the help in advance.  Just remind me, why do you need my passport?  I don't like to give it out to just anyone, as I'm sure you understand.

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Dear sir,

I need your passport to ensure that am talking with Scott.In other words, i will assist you as instructed by my boss but i cannot book flight for you becuase it is your duty.You can send the courier mailing fee so i can mail the cheque to you by courier if you don't want to come to Benin to pick it up.

Thanks

Alfred.

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Dear sir,

The courier company say that is us$90.00 only, i will go there again to get the information on how you can send the money on your readiness to send it.

Thanks

Alfred.

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Alfred,

I sincerely appreciate your help in this transaction.  I know there are a lot of people out there who prey upon the innocent and do bad deeds, so it's refreshing to deal with someone so kind hearted and worried about doing the right thing and helping people.  Therefore, seeing as I am about to come into a LOT of money, I have wired $10,000 US to The Bank of Africa in your name.  Think of this money as a thank you for all of your help.  The bank officer told me all you need to do is show up with your identification (I put it under Alfred Kim) at the following location, and they will give you the cash:

Bank of Africa - Benin

Av. Jean Paul II

08 BP 0879

Cotonou

Benin

Tel:

229 31-3228

URL:

http://www.bkofafrica.net/

 Please give the courier whatever fee is necessary out of that payment, and let me know how I get my money delivered.

Thanks again for everything Alfred.  You are a good man and God will smile upon you in heaven!

Scott

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Dear sir,

Thank you very much for your generous.I went to the bank of Africa they made it clear to me that there is no much amount on my name.

Thanks

Alfred.

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Are you sure you went to the address I gave you?  I talked to the branch manager who said that the deposit is there and that no one has come to retrieve it.  Who did you speak to?

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Dear sir,

Please stop deceiving your self.either you come to Benin to pick up the cheque or you send the courier mailing fee that is all.

Alfred.

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I am starting to doubt whether you are trustworthy.  You told me you went to the bank and then I found out from the branch manager that you did not and you were clearly lying.  Why should I trust you with my information when you won't even accept my generous gift of $10,000?  I'm afraid I may have to contact Roger directly and tell him that you haven't been willing to help me as he promised.

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Dear sir,

The bank made it clear to me that you did not sent any money.

Alfred.

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I'm coming to Australia to hunt you down and I won't rest until I have my money.

You've made a huge mistake.

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 You are joking.

 ----------

 Al,

I haven't heard from you in a while, but my men tell me you lead a pretty boring life.  Apparently you have a very meager lifestyle, and their assessment is that there is no money.  Is this correct?  If not, I'm sending one of them to have a talk with you.

Scott

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 Dear sir,

I refused to contact you becuase your last email was totally embarrased to me.The cheque is real but i think you are not serious to receive the money.

Alfred.

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 Alf,

 You should be embarrassed!  If you are for real, then why can't you tell me the name of the person you contacted at the bank when I sent you the money?  Can't you understand why you seems suspicious to me when you can't answer that very simple question?  If this is real and you want to get it done, start acting like a professional and answer my questions truthfully.

 Scott

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 Dear sir,

I suggest that you better come to Benin to pick the cheque.

Alfred. 

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 OK, what's your address?  I'll be there within a week.  And I won't leave without my money.

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 Dear sir,

It is probably better that you do not come here after all.  There may have been some misunderstand as to my offer, and I do not wish problems to transpire.  Good luck to you in your future endeavor.

Alfred.

EMAIL EXCHANGE #2

Hello, 

I know this mail is coming to you as a surprise, but accept it because am in a very difficult situation and I need your urgent assistance, My Name is Victor Bestman. As you receive this mail I pray that God will use you to help I and my sister out of this problem. 

I have two consignment boxes containing (US$12.000.000.00) Twelve million at the International Airport in Belgium as am writing this email to you now, this money was left for I and my only sister by our late parents during the war in my country my late father deposited the consignment in a trust Company in Ghana. I made an arrangement with a diplomat in Ghana to deliver the boxes to Mr. Jan kohl who promised to assist us to receive the boxes in his country Belgium, but since the arrival of the Diplomat in Belgium he make all efforts to contact Mr. Jan, up till now Mr. Jan Kohl can’t been find. 

At this moment the diplomat are still waiting for me to let him know who he will deliver the consignment boxes to now, mind you the diplomat and the trust Company in Ghana don’t know the content of the consignment they only knew is family treasure for security purpose. 

Before we heard an information that Mr. Jan Kohl has a car accident on is way to London where he went for business transaction which cause to is died. That is why am contacting you for help now, and receive the boxes for I and my sister then you will also send us some money to come over to your country, after you take the delivery of the boxes. 

We are ready to offer you, percentage for your assistance of receiving the consignment boxes from the diplomat then you will have 30% out of the total fund and also invest our 55% in the name of I and my sister in any good business that you understand there in your country, 10% will be kept for me and my sister for our up keeping 5% will been use for any expense that may be marked so far. Please we are not self here in camp. 

Once you have accepted to assist me and my sister, then we will send you the contact of the Diplomat in Belgium so that you can discuss with him on how to receive the consignment boxes to you immediately.

I will send you the Certificate of Deposit which my late parent used to deposited the consignment boxes with the trust company in Ghana. 

I expect your urgent reply to relief me of the pains we going through now.

Thank you very much in anticipation of you reply. 

Sincerely,

Victor Bestman.

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Thank you. Yes, please send me 12,000,000.

Look forward to it,

Scott

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Hello Scott,

Thanks for your urgent respond and welling to assets I and my sister. All you have to do is for you to meet with the diplomat in International Airport in Belgium so that you can be able to receive the boxes, because the boxes are with the diplomat there in Belgium and I can not tell the diplomat that the boxes with him contain money mind you the diplomat and the trust Company in Ghana don’t know the content of the consignment they only knew is family treasure for security purpose.

We have use all the money is with us as we know that in two or three days Mr. Jan kohl will take delivering of the boxes and send us money, as am sending you this mail to feed is a problem for us now, that is why is stated in my mail that you are our last hope, I just hope that God will torch you to go to Belgium and take delivering of this boxes so that you send us some money on time we beg before we can feed now  it is very difficult.

  Sir with all due respect kindly send your phone number house and office address your ID some thing like driving lances or passport.

  After you have done this I will give you all information on how you will take delivering of the boxes

We hope to hear from you soon

Thanks

Victor Bestman

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If the diplomat can meet me at Los Angeles International Airport that would be better for me.

Thanks,

Scott

-------

Hello Scott,

Many thanks for your urgent respond and welling to assets I and my sister. Sir we understand what you mean but we will like you to assist us so that you can receive the boxes from the diplomat in Belgium, because I and my sister think about your mail though out the night that you are the person that God sent to help us out from this problem.

Sir with all due respect kindly send your phone number house and office address your ID some thing like driving lances or passport.

 After you have done this I will give you all information on how you will take delivering of the boxes  

 we hope to hear from you soon

sincerely

victor Bestman

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I'm not a huge fan of Belgium. Let's pick another airport. How about New York?

Best,

Scott

--------------

Dear Scott

Many thanks for your email, I am already in a discussion with the diplomat to deliver the boxes to you in America, and he told me to give him one day to see if it will be possible and when they can do the delivering  

By tomorrow we will hear answer from him, and I will up date you I will be very happy if this can happened, we are surfing seriously hear in Ghana

Thanks   

Victor 

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That's awesome that you guys are surfing. I've always wanted to learn, especially living so near the ocean!

Talk to you soon...

Scott

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Dear Scott

kindly sent you cell phone number the diplomat will call you today and all so your personal information's your address your ID for my personal keep as some one that is taking delivering of money 

hope to hear from you soon 

thank you 

Victor  

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Vic,

Unfortunately because of my disability (I am deaf) I cannot speak on the phone.  Feel free to give him my email address and we can coordinate that way.

Best,

Scott

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Dear Scott

thanks for you mail,so sorry for your disability  but don't be too worry about that God knows why okay

i will give you email to the diplomat, but you have not sent your address and ID to pls do that for me  .

thanks 

Victor 

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I'm not really good with computers.  I don't know how to get my ID into the computer.  I tried putting it in but my neighbor said it was the DVD drive and now it is stuck in there.  Any ideas on how to get it out?  I'm so embarrassed!!

Scott

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Dear Scott

So sorry for you putting your ID in DVD drive look for some one that knows how to do to take of your ID from the DVD drive, what you have to do now is this send your address and your ID No only, the diplomat need something for identification, I believe he can use this information to work for us 

I am attaching our passport to you as the diplomat will ask of the passport before he delivers to you. Hope to hear from you soon

Thanks 

Victor

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Victor

Sorry, I have been busy getting my computer repaired.  I have opened a new PO box at the post office like you asked.   Will the diplomat be able to come to Los Angeles?  I thank God for your contacting me. Things have been so terrible for me.  I have no money and people always pick on me because of my disability.  God will see what you are doing to help me and you will we rewarded in the afterlife.

Thank you for being a good person in a world of bad people!

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Dear Gilbert

I have a discussion with the diplomat on the issues of delivering of the boxes to you in America as you will not be able to travel to Belgium and take the delivering,

The diplomat will deliver the 2 boxes to you in your house in America, but will need to pay for the cost of t diplomatic carrier that transport the 2 boxes from Accra Ghanato Belgium that is US$2,400.00, before diplomatic Carrie will now carrier the 2boxes with there diplomatic courier carrier transport the 2boxes from Belgium to America and deliver the 3 boxes to you in your house.You will then pay them the Sun of US$6, 500 .00 that is cost to move the boxes from Belgium to America, you will pay this money after the boxes are deliver to you in your house, so you can take money from the boxes to pay the diplomat the cost from Belgium to America .

I have gave your contact to the diplomat he will contact you and confirm your data for delivering. But Mind you the diplomat and the trust Company in Ghana don’t know the content of the consignment boxes  they only knew is family treasure for security purpose .so you must not let the diplomat to know that the contain  of the boxes are money OKAY.

One the you and the diplomat discuss and take a date for delivering I will sent you the key Cody number to open the 1 of the boxes so that you pay from the boxes and sent some money to us to gate our visa and come over to meet you,  

  After the t boxes are deliver to you, you will need to give us invitation later that we will use to get our  visa .

Do up date me what ever discussion you have with the diplomat

Yours truly,

Victor   

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Dear Victor,

Who's Gilbert??  Now I'm afraid that you've decided to give the money to someone else!  Did I do something to anger you?  I assure you I'm quite trustworthy!

I confess I've already purchased a new Bentley with the promise of the money you are sending me.  If I do not get it I will not be able to pay this car loan back.  Please reconsider your decision and give me the money or I will be in a lot of trouble!!!!

Your faithful servant,

Scott

PS  When you arrive in America I would be happy to give you a ride in my Bentley.  It is quite breathtaking and even has an iPod interface if you want to bring yours!

Dear Scott

Ok forget about Gilbert, now you went in for a can when you have not received the boxes, tell me why did you do that and how much is the car? I know Bentley  is expensive car, any way let forget about that I know you don’t have any bad intention that is why you told me about it, when this boxes are deliver to you don’t spend more than your percentage of the money and you don’t need to spend too much money so that one will not stat asking where you get all this money from, because when I come over I for one will not want people to know that I have much money on me, so know how you spend money,

 The boxes will be deliver to you by the diplomat from Belgium I have gave your contact to the diplomat so he will contact you on your email I told him that all communication have to be only on email so always shec your mail any make sure you up date me with any email from the diplomat.

I wait to hear from you soon

 Thank

Victor 

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If Gilbert wants to buy the Bentley from me, I would be willing to sell it.  Low miles.  Like new.  I'll give him a great deal on it, just have him contact me.

Also, would you be interested in going in on a timeshare in Hawaii with me -- for when you get here?  We would get two weeks per year and we could split it, one week each.  Pool, tennis courts, the works.  Let me know because the guy said the deal isn't going to last.

I will respond to the diplomat now!

Scott

------------------------------------------

Scott 

how are you today i hope you are fine, Scott tell me do you really want to work with me to calm the money or not i don't like how you talk, you know what i don't what money people to hear about this but the way you are going about it i don't understand or are we joking, this is my and my sister life hear we are talking about and you are taking it as if we are joking, 

i want to hear from you if your are ready to work with us or not  

thank you 

Victor

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Wow Victor. I must say, I am totally insulted by your email. I don't know how you were raised, but my daddy he raised me good. He taught me to be friendly and welcoming. Here I am trying to be a friend to you, trying to include you in my Hawaii timeshare, and you say I'm a joker?  I thought you would want to enjoy something relaxing once you arrive here after everything you an your sister have been through. 

But if you want to simply have a business relationship, that is fine. We do not have to be friends. I responded to the diplomat, but he never wrote back. Maybe he's the one you should be upset with. 

--------------------------------------------------

Dear Scott

Am so sorry the way I talk to you in my email, it is very good to be friends before business, ones more am sorry, I hope you have forgive me?

I talk to the diplomat today and he told me that he has send you an email, about the cost to delver the boxes to you in your house and also the cost from Ghana to Belgium, that we must pay the cost of the transport from Ghana to Belgium that is US$3,500.00 that this money to be paid before the boxes will live Ghana embassy warehouse.

From the sate of this transaction this is what we where told the when they transport the boxes to Ghana embassy Belgium the cost must be pay on delivering, so now that we did not take the delivering we Belgium and we want the boxes deliver in America we have to pay that cost before they will deliver to you and the cost from Belgium to America will be paid on deliver in your hose.

At this moment we don’t have cash with us we spend almost all the money we have with us with the hope that as soon as the boxes get to Belgium Mr. Jan will take the delivering and sent us some money that same day before we heard that he has an accident.

Scott we don’t have the money you try and pay the diplomat that will not be pat of your percentage I will give you that money from my money.

I Hope to hear from you soon

Victor   am very sorry for everything i say to you in my

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It's OK, I forgive you.  I hope you will forgive my delay in responding as my mother was in a terrible kangaroo boxing accident and I have been taking care of her.  We now have a lot of medical bills and I don't have much money left.  What should I do about the diplomat asking for money?  Do you think we can convince him to let me pay him once I have the money here in America?

Scott

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 My Dear friend Scott,

I hope you are doing fine is your mother a boxer? Boxing accident how I hope she fine now.

Let come back to the boxes in Belgium after I read your mail I have a discussion with the diplomat and he told me of the money too and from all the discussion we have to pay that money he explained every thing why we have to pay the money before he deliver the boxes to you in your house in America.

Scott for me and my sister her we don’t have money with us we have spend almost all we have the very dad that the boxes where out of Africa with the hope that Mr. Jan who suppose to take the delivering before he hared an accident will sent us some money as soon as he take the delivering so this make us spend the money we where having on us then, so at this moment we don’t have money.

Scott you have to friend a way and pay the money to diplomat so that he can deliver the boxes to you so that you send us some money

Thanks

Victor

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Victor, 

I still haven't heard anything from the diplomat.  I hope nothing bad has happened to him!

Let me know, I am trying to find the money.  I think I have an idea but I want to see what you think.

Scott

-----------------------------------------

what is going on? please let me know

Victor.

----------------------

Dearest Victor,

I am so glad that you have remembered to check on me. Praise Allah!

I thought I had found the money necessary, however it seems my plan has fallen through. Now I am left with only one option, and I am not sure if it is acceptable. I thought I should ask your opinion. 

I sometimes work at an orphanage that helps kids with feline AIDS. We have just completed a fundraiser and we currently have almost $8000 in the account. Do you think I should steal the money to give to the diplomat?  I mean, I hate the HIV as much as the next guy, but I love money much more. This Bentley isn't going to pay for itself, amiright?

Anyway, what should I do?

I await your response on the wings of Jesus. 

Scott

----------------------------------

I lost my sister 28th Oct, and now as am writing you this message now her body is in the mortuary so anything that you think is good for you to do now please try and help me out. Because I don’t understand my self as for now, but if you can be able to go to Belgium and meet with the diplomat I think that will be good.

Thanks

Victor

----------------------------

Glad you agree about defrauding those orphans.  I haven't heard from the diplomat lately.  Going to try emailing him again.  I hope your sister is feeling better!

Talk to you soon,

Scott

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She is died

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Ugh.  Sucks.

Does that mean you don't need the money anymore?