It's 8:10 am and this is the fifth time I've hit the snooze button.
"I've got time," I think to myself, "5 more minutes." I don't want to
go to work today, I'd rather stay in bed in my snoopy boxers,
scratching myself, drinking beer and looking at porn. It's pay day and
that's the only thing that motivates me to get out of bed. I jump into
the shower to wash my hair and shave. "Damnit!" I yell. I knicked my
face with the razor, I hate when that happens. Once I get out of the
shower, I head back to my room to get dressed. I throw on a pair of
nice slacks and a polo, it's casual Friday. I love casual Friday.
I'm out of the house by 8:30, and need to be at work at 9. I think
I'll stop at McDonalds for breakfast. Yeah, it's bad for me, but at
least I don't have to watch my figure. "I'll have 2 McGriddles, 2 hash
browns, and a large Diet Coke!" The girl at the window is cute, I
wonder what she's doing later tonight. Ah forget it, what am I
thinking? She works at McDonalds!
I finally get to work, thank god I have a secretary. She's been here
since 7:30 answering phones and filing paperwork, something I wouldn't
wanna do. My boss comes in at 11 and invites me to lunch. Gotta love a
free meal! At lunch I have the filet mignon, he says he'd like me to
join him at the corporate golf outing on Saturday. I think I'm getting
a promotion, I can feel it. We light up a cigar and get back to the
office around 12:45.
Later on, I go to payroll to pick up my paycheck. I love the feeling
of all that money in my hands and I love getting paid more to do the
same job as a woman. That just proves that men are better. In
celebration of pay day, I think I'm gonna take that girl out tonight,
what's her name again? Blonde hair, big boobs, she seems easy.
Tiffany. Yeah, that's it, Tiffany. I call her up and tell her to look
hot tonight, we're going out. She sounds excited.
As soon as I get home from work, I strip down into my boxers, turn on
the game, and grab a beer. I lay on the couch with my hand down my
pants for a good hour before I need to shower for dinner. I pick up
Tits McGee, I mean Tiffany, at 8 o'clock and we head to a spot I know
of. It's a small place with a romantic atmosphere. Hopefully after
dinner, she'll be feeling romantic too. She only orders a salad, but I
make sure that her drinks keep coming.
I, of course, pick up the tab, but she owes me. I take her back to my
place for dessert. I start to kiss her when she stops me, "I like you
a lot and I don't want to rush into anything" she says. Who the hell
does she think she is? Wearing THAT dress and turning me down? What a
tease. "I don't feel well," I tell her, "I'll call you a cab". She
looks pissed but I don't care, there are plenty of other T's in my
little black book and my bed is not big enough for all of her
emotional baggage. "I'll call you" I tell her, but we both know I
never will."
"I've got time," I think to myself, "5 more minutes." I don't want to
go to work today, I'd rather stay in bed in my snoopy boxers,
scratching myself, drinking beer and looking at porn. It's pay day and
that's the only thing that motivates me to get out of bed. I jump into
the shower to wash my hair and shave. "Damnit!" I yell. I knicked my
face with the razor, I hate when that happens. Once I get out of the
shower, I head back to my room to get dressed. I throw on a pair of
nice slacks and a polo, it's casual Friday. I love casual Friday.
I'm out of the house by 8:30, and need to be at work at 9. I think
I'll stop at McDonalds for breakfast. Yeah, it's bad for me, but at
least I don't have to watch my figure. "I'll have 2 McGriddles, 2 hash
browns, and a large Diet Coke!" The girl at the window is cute, I
wonder what she's doing later tonight. Ah forget it, what am I
thinking? She works at McDonalds!
I finally get to work, thank god I have a secretary. She's been here
since 7:30 answering phones and filing paperwork, something I wouldn't
wanna do. My boss comes in at 11 and invites me to lunch. Gotta love a
free meal! At lunch I have the filet mignon, he says he'd like me to
join him at the corporate golf outing on Saturday. I think I'm getting
a promotion, I can feel it. We light up a cigar and get back to the
office around 12:45.
Later on, I go to payroll to pick up my paycheck. I love the feeling
of all that money in my hands and I love getting paid more to do the
same job as a woman. That just proves that men are better. In
celebration of pay day, I think I'm gonna take that girl out tonight,
what's her name again? Blonde hair, big boobs, she seems easy.
Tiffany. Yeah, that's it, Tiffany. I call her up and tell her to look
hot tonight, we're going out. She sounds excited.
As soon as I get home from work, I strip down into my boxers, turn on
the game, and grab a beer. I lay on the couch with my hand down my
pants for a good hour before I need to shower for dinner. I pick up
Tits McGee, I mean Tiffany, at 8 o'clock and we head to a spot I know
of. It's a small place with a romantic atmosphere. Hopefully after
dinner, she'll be feeling romantic too. She only orders a salad, but I
make sure that her drinks keep coming.
I, of course, pick up the tab, but she owes me. I take her back to my
place for dessert. I start to kiss her when she stops me, "I like you
a lot and I don't want to rush into anything" she says. Who the hell
does she think she is? Wearing THAT dress and turning me down? What a
tease. "I don't feel well," I tell her, "I'll call you a cab". She
looks pissed but I don't care, there are plenty of other T's in my
little black book and my bed is not big enough for all of her
emotional baggage. "I'll call you" I tell her, but we both know I
never will."
